And we’re live (New Damascus: PUBLISHED)

Well it’s been a long wait, hasn’t it? Finally – New Damascus is published and available on Smashwords for you to enjoy! (And I hope you do!)

It should be available at the major eBook retailers like Apple and Kindle in the next few weeks, but to me it doesn’t really matter where you download it from because it’s FREE. I just hope you enjoy the ride, and if you do to tell your friends and recommend it to others.

Thanks amigos!



Bioshock Infinite (a primer)

Or, hey – we know the basics of Quantam Physics


So if you’ve played through the latest Bioshock game you probably experienced what I did by the time the credits rolled: like someone had punched me in the gut and I let out a slow “fuuuuuuuck”.

The ending has confused some people, certainly left me scratching my head at parts, and while I think I have most of it puzzled out there are still definitely some unanswered questions, as the game developers intended I believe. I am disappointed, however, by a lot of the criticism the game is receiving by those who are annoyed that the “choices” you are given in the game didn’t pay off and that to have alternate endings or storylines influenced by your choices (like a Skyrim or Fable game) would have made it better.

I think these people missed the point. And so, also for my own sake to refer back to, this is my mini primer on Bioshock Infinite.


In the beginning…

The Lutecs are essentially the masterminds behind everything that happens in the game where you begin. The main question I asked myself at the end was…how did DeWitt end up in Columbia where there was a Comstock, or, another version of himself? How, without the aid of Elizabeth’s ability to open tears, did he manage to jump to a dimension he didn’t belong to?

There is always a man and there is always a lighthouse. The Lutecs have taken you to a lighthouse that leads you to that other dimension. Right from the beginning do we have a jump to an alternate dimension.

A brief timeline

Booker DeWitt serves at the battle of Wounded Knee and walks away from it most probably suffering from PTSD and survivor’s guilt. He wallows away in drinking and gambling and gives up his daughter to the Lutecs to wipe away his gambling debt. Later, he is so guilt-ridden by having given up his daughter he goes through a baptism to wash away his sins and becomes Comstock.

OR the idea of the gambling debt is a memory DeWitt created, as “the brain adapts” and creates false memories when the truth is too difficult to bare. DeWitt goes through baptism and becomes Comstock because of Wounded Knee in one dimension, and DeWitt in another dimension gives up his daughter Anna for a reason that isn’t clear.

Either way, DeWitt agrees to the Lutecs scheme to “get back the girl and wipe away the debt” a second time in order to be reunited with his daughter (though he forgets this)


You are presented with a few choices throughout the game. Heads or Tails. The bird or the cage. Spare or execute your former commander. These choices do not matter to the story and that is the point. There are many different paths but they all lead to the same shore. In every alternate dimension there are differences, the variables, but there are also constants, things that cannot change. The reason why this game takes this particular journey is you are playing as the DeWitt who can finally alter one of the constants.

Multiple DeWitts

Near the beginning of the game when you are going to the Columbia raffle you are confronted by the Lutecs who ask you to flip a coin. One of the Lutecs is wearing a blackboard sign with their tally, all of which are heads and none are tails. This implies that all of those tics have been the several DeWitts before you who have attempted the journey.

Elizabeth’s finger

The Lutecs invented the technology to be able to open the tears. Elizabeth can do it naturally and better, which is why she is experimented upon. The reason is because she is in two different dimensions: in one she lives in Columbia, and in another she has a small part of her finger left behind in DeWitt’s world.

The Nosebleeds

Characters who are in a new dimension where they have died in another one will remember on some level and get nosebleeds as reality tries to reconcile the paradox. DeWitt ends up with a nosebleed when he jumps to a dimension where he was martyred for the Vox Populi cause. He also continues to get nosebleeds as the story progresses because in the dimension he is in he “died” and was reborn as Comstock.

The Lutecs

The Lutecs are not twins, they are the same person existing within the same dimension. The female Lutec jumped to another dimension where she was born as a boy and brought him/herself back into her own dimension. This is why the male Lutec, when commenting on creating false memories, sympathizes with DeWitt and tells him “I went through the same thing”. This is also how they can finish each other’s sentences.

So…how did all of this start?

My theory is the Lutecs engineered everything from the beginning in order to stop Comstock once they saw the tyrant he became. It makes me wonder if they knew Elizabeth would have become the natural tear opener/dimension hopper when they began, but for the Lutecs time is non-linear. So, they may have known or it may have been an accident, but it probably remains just another constant. It has happened, it is happening and it will happen. They go through several DeWitts to try and accomplish this goal, but as we see from the martyred DeWitt in one dimension, you are probably playing the only one to actually succeed.

The Ending/Drowning

It seems to me that the significance of having several Elizabeths or Annas at the end where DeWitt commits suicide in order to prevent himself or Comstock from ever having existed is that this is now happening across several dimensions. Each Elizabeth is here to oversee her DeWitt following through with the same act so that Comstock will not exist in any dimension and hence she will not exist and become the destroyer of New York/America.

It ends with the same musical notes C-A-G-E and each Elizabeth vanishes except…for the last one, whom we’ve journeyed with. Is it like the end of Inception where the screen goes to black but we assume that our Elizabeth vanishes as well? Or, does she remain?

I think the logical answer is that, this was a more poetic way to end that image but the implication is that yes our Elizabeth disappears as well to remain Anna DeWitt in another dimension. She will never exist in the dimension she stayed in for most of her life as there is now no Comstock in that dimension. It’s bleak yes…but so is the entire game. If the implication is that she does remain, which is still a possibility it could also be a more hopeful ending where she returns to her original dimension when she was born as Anna DeWitt, as she has always been Anna DeWitt and now her future as Elizabeth is erased and she can proceed to a more “normal” life as DeWitt’s daughter.

All the Lighthouses/Bioshock 2

You get to travel back to the city of Rapture! And it is a clever nod back to Bioshock 2 as you consider that the city of Rapture is another one of the lighthouses where there must be a version of DeWitt from that universe as well. The similarities between both games can be seen as another dimension’s manifestations of that.

For example, Eve and Plasmids are Salts and Vigors. The Big Daddies are the Handymen. There is a Fink in both worlds. And, my personal belief, is that Doctor Sophia Lamb in Rapture is a version of Elizabeth.


There are tons of other analysis and commentaries on the story of Infinite that other people have written, some with actual degrees in physics, and they are fascinating to read. I think really the big thing to take away from this is that along with BioWare and the rising sophistication of video games, Bioshock Infinite is a great entry into the rising legitimacy of videogames as a fantastic medium of Story.

Meet the Neighbourhood

I live downtown Toronto and I think if you live in the core of any big city you get to know it’s crazies. The same people you see now and again in their haunts who add flavour to any walk outside. And Toronto, if anywhere, has certainly got some notable people.



Hood: Corner of Yonge and Dundas

Fuck, this guy even has a meme floating around on the internet. An old grumpy man who stands on the corner, waits for a huge group to pass by or to be inches away from your ear and yells “Belieeeeeeve in the Lord“.

One time I saw another man, a homeless schizophrenic with tourettes who constantly mumbles a stream of “fuckingjesuschristfuckingcatholicchurchgod’sasonofabitchfuckingjesuschrist” bump into the Believe in the Lord guy and…..the world exploded in a moment of fuck awesome craziness.



Hood: Queen West

One of the street punks who always has plaint splattered on him and usually has an accordion and WWI flight goggles strapped to his head. Nomad from Newfoundland who has interesting paintings and art projects and usually the best cardboard signs.


Dogfood Dave

Hood: Queen West

Dogfood Dave is famous and quite well-liked amongst the homeless and street kids in this neighbourhood. He’s famous for his two dogs, one which only has three legs. He actually owns a small squatter’s house and rents out rooms to other kids on the street, and the rent he asks for is a bag of dog food every month. This man loves his dogs and will do anything for them.


Big Pimpin’

Hood: Eaton Center and Yonge Street

This man isn’t homeless, but if you’ve lived in TO for any amount of time you’ve probably seen him around, especially on the TTC. A slim, black man who’s always impeccably dressed in a powder blue suit, matching fedora, sunglasses and a motherfucking pimp cane. And bling. Lots of bling. I have no idea if he’s a real pimp or not, but he’s one classy dressed motherfucker.



Hood: Yonge street, College/Dundas area

Hogarth is the skinnest man I’ve ever seen, he looks West Indian and has a shock of white hair. He’s usually barefoot and wanders around mumbling and growling unintelligibly or singing to himself. When he asks for change he scares people because he’s obviously high on crack and has a gravelly voice. Most people don’t understand what he’s even asking for. He also has the best hair that he likes to stick pencils and other random garbage he finds into it. His story is a little sad, he is an addict who’s been turned out onto the streets, but to see him dancing and singing to a song in his own head without giving a single fuck makes me smile.



Hood: Yonge street, usually outside the McDonald’s north of College

Ryan’s a younger guy who always sits with a spread of speed ink paintings and other artwork. I bought a painting of an octopus from him once. Polite, little rough around the edges, he’s working towards going to OCAD and getting custody of his daughter Autumn back. Ask him about it and he’ll show you the picture he drew of her.


Dolly Parton

Hood: Kensington Market

I don’t know where this woman came from, but you’ll usually see her around Kensington or Yonge street. She’s an older, busty blonde who’s always wearing a pink cowboy hat and pink princess sunglasses. She’s usually riding a children’s bicycle that’s also pink and has pink streamers coming from the handles.


Baba Yaga

Hood: Yonge Street, between Bloor and College

An old woman, who I think is Russian, who always wanders around with a walker, wearing a headscarf, long grey witch hair and is constantly screaming and cursing. She sometimes has a smoke in her hand, folds and cranes into so many angles she looks like a broken Jack-in-the-box and has an unfortunate tendency to spit on people. I never understand what she’s saying, but it sounds like an ancient curse to me.

Horror Films can’t do endings

I’ve noticed a trend recently in the past 5-10 years of horror films that I at first thought was a coincidence, but has now occurred so regularly that it is emerging as a pattern. That being: horror movie endings suck. As in: horror movies (in a genre already plagued with a lot of steaming piles of shit) that have a lot of potential, good writing, good performances, an interesting premise and are on the whole executed well, suddenly fall apart at the end. Perhaps it has always been the case, perhaps across genres? With some, it merely keeps an average film with potential from being a great and memorable film. With others, the piss poor ending feels like an insult and actually leaves me deeply offended.

For the sake of this argument I will be looking at a few examples from Hollywood studio films only, as I feel like this trend is one of mainstream genre films rather than the independent scene. Independent horror, as well as the indie film scene in general, is a large pool with a lot of diversity and its fair share of gems, but just by sheer numbers and less marketing they don’t receive the same audience and exposure. Not all of the films mentioned below were Hollywood productions, but did eventually end up receiving studio releases in North American theatres.

I will be looking at The Woman in Black, Sinister, The Awakening and Splice. Do I have to warn you that there will be spoilers in this? SPOILERS.


“The Woman in Black” 2012



This was the first Hammer Horror film released in decades, the beloved British studio that brought us such classics as the Christopher Lee Dracula films, introduced Peter Cushing as a genre icon, and with this new release tests Daniel Radcliffe’s acting chops post-Potter. If one views this knowing it was released by Hammer I think the enjoyment of the film increases. It is a Hammer film through and through, following Hammer conventions and even a little bit of its campy style with a contemporary  dose of grittiness we expect from our cinematic fare these days. It isn’t anything special, it doesn’t really stray from the safe, beaten path of Hammer films past, but if you want a solid, entertaining ghost story then the film is still enjoyable. It could easily be subtitled Jump Scare: the Movie but at least has a sense of atmosphere and tension the Paranormal Activity franchise lacks.

However – we get to the end. This film falls into the odd trend of horror films that have been set up nicely, with story and scares being balanced and executed well thus far to suddenly take an odd change in tone for the third act. The plot suddenly decides it needs to race along, all pacing is shot to hell, and a large plot hole arrives leaving you scratching your head, puzzled, in the theatre.

The titular ghost and antagonist of the film is the grieving mother of a child that was taken away from her as an infant, and her haunting has been the spirit’s attempt to reconnect to a long-lost son. Experienced audiences can foresee this plotline right from the beginning of the film, but that’s fine because with this movie it was more about the journey than the end. However, Daniel Radcliffe’s character discovers her story, finds the long-dead son’s bones, and performs a funereal ceremony and burial within the ghost’s old rooms of the house – in other words, with this horror universe that’s been created, firmly setting itself within a specific niche of the genre, it has followed certain conventions and rules an audience has learned to expect from decades of establishment. The hero of the film did everything right, he played by the rules, he solved the mystery, he put the ghost to peace. He is supposed to live. And yet…despite being reunited with her son, the ghost still decides to blindside the protagonist and murder him in the last sixty seconds of the film purely out of premenstrual bitchy spite. WHAT? If you just spent the last ninety minutes establishing that you were operating under a certain set of laws, follow them. Subversion and iconoclasty within cinema is fantastic as long as it was intentional (and well executed).

What makes this kind of a tragic waste is that further research into the production history reveals a crucial plot element that was left out of the theatrical cut. A ten second soundbite. And once you learn what the soundbite is it exponentially improves the film’s ending, and at the very least gives it a believable context. After the hero performs the last rites for the child, he staggers off exhausted leaving the ghost some privacy for her reunion. What he doesn’t witness is the voice of the ghost child who suddenly begins to cry and scream in terror asking where it’s mother is, because it does not recognize the woman in black as its true mother, thus dissolving any closure for the spectre and instead exacerbating her tragedy. Does that soundbite elevate the entire film? No, not really. Does the ending make sense with it instead of being needlessly confusing, spiteful and feel like a cynical manipulation? Yes. Ten seconds, guys. Ten seconds.


“Sinister” 2012


Probably the most competent, well-executed studio horror production to have come out in the last five years. Sinister was a sleeper hit over the summer, genuinely creepy, well balanced in tone even at times being darkly funny, having interesting flawed characters that were believable, and executing good scares without resorting too much to cheap jump scares.

Ethan Hawke is the glue that ties the film together, turning out a very enjoyable and memorable performance and one that I will associate as the best of his career (coming from someone who finds him in general underwhelming), many kudos to him. The snuff film motif is genuinely disturbing with the images in Super 8 touching the right note of beautiful, haunting and stomach churning. The film is uncomfortable, tense, filled with dread and for once has characters in a Hollywood horror movie not behaving like active killer bait and actually saying, “fuck this place, we’ve seen disturbing shit and we’re leaving“.

So what goes wrong? …the demon in this movie is just goddamn stupid. I can’t even spell its name, but suffice to say the way its name is pronounced is like if you tried to say the word “bagel” with a kazoo struck up your nose, decided fuck it and railed ten tequila shots. The look for the demon is disappointingly unoriginal and quite average for a horror film. Tall, pale, dressed in black, yeah we get it – he’s Robert Smith’s more depressing younger brother. The film is most interesting when the demon is underplayed and the true horror really comes from the lead protagonist: the salvation of him and his family all depends on whether he can finally swallow his pride and take responsibility for his failures, or will he allow his altruistic nature to take the lead and endanger them? The outcome of horror is dependent upon human decision – this is good. Your character’s choices and efforts resulting in nothing because of an overpowered monster in the closet is boring.

Also the film ends with the cheapest jump scare in the world for a monster that isn’t even scary. It feels like a slap in the face after an hour and a half of mostly consistent, solid filmmaking.



“The Awakening” 2011 (Britain)


This was a film that did receive a studio release but I think was largely overlooked and passed away unnoticed and unremarked upon after its opening weekend. A British production that was released a year previously to its North American debut, earning a lot of critical buzz and acclaim and rightly so. The Awakening is a gorgeous, deeply tragic film where the paranormal elements of the story are well played and used expertly as the backdrop to a very personal story of one woman’s experiences.

The basic premise is our protagonist is a paranormal investigator in post-WWI Britain who debunks seances and psychic mediums. Her main struggle lies in the death of her lover, a soldier who died in action, and her obsession with uncovering hoaxes is paired with a deep desire to see real evidence of ghosts so she can absolve herself of the guilt she feels over her partner’s death. She believes she drove him away and he joined the army because of her rejection and neglect. 

Everything about the film works: the cinematography is muted and beautiful, the production design meticulous, memorable performances from every actor, and a lyrical sense of pacing. The period and setting of the film acts as another character – highlighting the collective trauma of a nation torn apart by war and the idea that this lends itself to sudden rises in ghost sightings based out of people’s desires to see their lost loved ones again. Our lead takes a job at a boy’s grammar school where a student committed suicide and disturbing things are happening that are putting the students at danger, as she is contacted by one of the school masters. The devices and methods she use, even back in the time period, to scientifically record and in her view disprove, the unusual happening at the school are fascinating in themselves.

The fact that the inevitable question of whether the paranormal disturbances are hoaxed or real tips in favour of the spiritual realm doesn’t leave you disappointed if you are a skeptic like me, because the film actually creates a story and a context in which this is the more complicated answer and the avenue worth exploring more. The lead actress, Rebecca Hall, is fantastic as we follow her journey and also just take in the moodiness of the torn English countryside, the emptiness of the school hallways and the repressive atmosphere of the time which becomes suffocating. While there are a few jump scares in the film, they are largely forgivable as most of the scares are genuinely spine chilling and admirable in that they hold for an uncomfortably long time and manage to continue to grow in dread with each passing second. The motif of dolls and doll houses in particular are note worthy.

And then the third act happens. And it’s like The Awakening tried to give birth to The Hours and an entirely different film tries to push its way through. It is truly jarring and mind-boggling. The third act is fast-paced and seems to deliver a new twist and pay-out every five goddamn minutes. And it completely ignores a lot of the motivations and narrative threads that built the first two acts. In sum, the third act reveals that the protagonist used to live in the school which was once a house, witnessed her father murdering her mother, had a young friend who was the son of the housekeeper who was also murdered, completely lost her memory of the entire event, the little boy at the school is that boy who was her friend and is a real ghost, the school janitor suddenly tries to rape her for no reason, the house matron somehow manipulated the school master (Dominic West) into contacting her without knowing her intentions, and then the housekeeper tries to kill her by giving poisoned tea. Oh and the school master who she’s been building a torrid, tug-of-war relationship with suddenly reveals that he sees ghosts too.

What the fuck? What happened to my movie? What happened to the boyfriend she lost to the war, how come he is never mentioned again and she almost committed suicide because of him for fuck’s sake? How come the fact that she is an orphan and had large chunks of her past missing were never established in the first or even the second act? How come the school master never butted heads with her over her skepticism if he was a believer?

Wait – why am I even trying to make sense of this – what happened to the movie?

This is the second most infuriated, frustrated and disappointed I’ve felt for an ending completely coming out of nowhere and ruining a perfectly good film. And despite my gripes with it, I still have to recommend it because it IS so well made. So much love and care and originality when into this movie, it really is stunning, and if a third act had been executed to the calibre of the first two I honestly believe this could have been a film to elevate the genre and actually get mainstream audiences to take horror seriously, or at least show that the genre has credibility and can make films worthy of longevity, discussion and thought. That horror or the supernatural can be used as another thematic tool and in the hands of the right director can tell just as “highbrow” a story as any awards-contender.

But instead the film contracted schizophrenia and I was left out in the cold again.


“Splice” 2009


And we come to it…The Film I saw that started this whole line of thought and has offended and disappointed me the most to the point where I felt insulted and angry after my viewing experience. I went through a rollercoaster of emotions with this one, oh boy, and to look at it objectively I’d say that my personal experience probably does colour a lot of my disappointment and that The Awakening was the better made film with more potential and a bigger let down. However, this all started with Splice.

I watched Splice at a point where I had completely given up on studio horror films. I thought they were made on the cheap, were rushed, tired, unoriginal and depended on too many exhausted cliches that catered to the lowest common denominator. This is still mostly true. The horror films I enjoyed were black and white, old or not considered straight horror (Eyes Without a Face, Dead Ringers and Alien being among my favourites). So, my boyfriend convinced me to watch Splice with him, a film I had already dismissed after its poster and trailer campaign. I came into it jaded and as I kept watching I grudgingly had to admit that I liked it. That I really liked it. That by the halfway point I was hooked and very invested in the characters and the premise.

What can I say? It was like it was catered for me! Scientists, genetic manipulation, human hubris, an interesting creature, taboo relationships and fucked up actions based off selfish motives – I ate it all up. The movie was interesting, well-paced, the story was clean and sparing, the relationship between the two leads was understated and flawed, their relationships to the creature Dren were wonderfully bizarre, the tone was dark but not exhaustively so…it was good, it was just good. Dren was an interesting monster, and her relationship with Sarah Polley’s scientist was like a good mix between Doctor Frankenstein and Grace. These were selfish characters who had gone in too far over their heads and created life when they couldn’t even get a handle on their own, and this life wasn’t evil it was just different and growing. And because life was created without enough thought, it brought the question of even if science can achieve something should we do it? And without consideration or respect for its sentience, things end up going pear-shaped for our protagonists.

Things go wrongly, as you would expect. Or maybe not expect. Jealousy sparks as Dren, now really only reaching the emotional maturity of a preteen, becomes infatuated with Adrien Brody’s character as he is the only male figure she’s ever known. Shit happens and…they have sex. It sounds lame when I say it, but it plays out well enough in the film. One misstep leads to another, it is revealed that Dren has been created with Sarah Polley’s DNA, Dren mutates beyond their predicted trajectory and the bizarre three-way triangle between the characters leads to violence being incited, not by Dren as one would expect, but by Sarah Polley’s character, and after the climactic confrontation Adrien Brody’s character ends up dead.




All this happens in the last five minutes of the film. Without any hints or leads. The prediction that Dren’s DNA might be able to switch genders is mentioned ONCE before, buried under other expository dialogue and scientific technobabble and is the filmmaker’s idea of foreshadowing, when in reality it’s just lazy and insulting. It doesn’t fit with anything else the film has been trying to do or with any of the situations its set up for its characters. There hasn’t even been a trajectory for this explained in the science of the film.

Now you might think I’m objecting because it’sa rape scene. Yes, I think that is one of the most tasteless devices you can turn to, but I also think that rape along with other taboo subjects or difficult situations can be used to great effect. Irreversible, the very dark French film is essentially a film all about rape with a nine minute scene that unflinchingly lets it all play out in one shot – and it is a film worth seeing, every bit as horrific as you’d think, but it isn’t tasteless, is well done, and treats its subject matter with thought and care. In Splice it appears out of nowhere, has no place within the thematic arcs of the film and just comes off as a cheap shock tactic and is frankly so insulting, to make us invest in a character for all of their flaws, spend ninety minutes with them on an already difficult journey and then slap us in the face with a crudely done rape scene…all in service of a cheap twist ending. AND BLATANT SEQUEL BAITING.

like unhappy endings. I like dark, hopeless, soul-crushing endings. I’m fine with that, I don’t need everything to end up all right. But just like you can’t have a token happy ending just because your movie needs a happy ending, you can’t go dark just for the sake of being able to call your film “edgy”. It was already edgy! It was already doing just fine! EARN IT. Sarah Polley’s scientist has been shown to be ambitious to a fault, being confronted with the decisions to choose her relationship over her work and choosing her work, feeling like she mothered Dren and that is her rite of passage to being a complete woman and scientist, she feels a biological tug to Dren because of the fact that they share DNA, and that her life including its relationships and previous triumphs wasn’t worth a damn to her until her most recent achievement and that her life must now be in service to this.

She should have created another Dren, having lost everything and being broken but still unable to let go of this obsession that ruined her life. Or, she should have isolated whatever mutation was within Dren’s DNA and injected herself and taken the experiment further so that her body becomes the next arena for her work. Or if the filmmaker really couldn’t let go of the twist that Dren could mutate and change genders, it should have been planted much earlier and more consistently through the film, and she should have had sex with Dren willingly – because you know what? You want to be edgy – that’s WAY more fucked up than your mutant creature forcing itself upon its maker, that’s allowing the character to continue with the trajectory you’ve been building for an entire film where every horrible thing that happens to her is a result of a decision she comes to consciously and fully commits to. At this point she’s lost Noah, her partner, lover and her only connection to humanity and the voice that asked if her work should hold some responsibility apart from just existing and pushing boundaries. Dren is a part of her and now it is male, she can replace Noah’s role in her life with this creation she has made, her perfect dream where she can make everything she needs and if she consciously decides to conceive a child it has more impact than her simply resigning to a disturbing fate.

I was so angry after watching this movie I actually just slammed my fist down on the keyboard to close my video viewer and fumed for an hour. All I could say was what a waste, what a waste, goddamn cheap rape scene.


To Conclude:

I don’t know if this is a recent trend in horror films, if it’s a trend that comes and goes, if this presents itself in other genre films or if I’ve just had a weird streak when it coms to films I watch. Is this linked with the current societal fears that inform contemporary trends, or is it linked with studio methods of the day?

I don’t know, though it is something I would like to keep my eye on. I may come back to this subject if more extensive research presents an answer or some new insights, but for now all I’m dong is presenting this and going – “kind of weird, huh?”. And as a sort of plea to fans and creators within this genre, for godssake if you’re smart and you actually care and give a shit about what you'[re making then carry through to the ending, okay? This trend is more heartbreaking than films that were eye-wateringly bad from the start…those had no hope to begin with.





My favourite moments from “Game of Thrones” S1

With the arrival of Season 3 tomorrow (the only reason I regret getting rid of my TV), here’s a look back at Season 1 – the season where our jaws dropped, we got hooked and an astounding new series made its claim on primetime and the internet.

Honourable Mentions:

The Opening Titles:
One of the most eye-catching and creative opening titles to a TV show along the lines of Carnivale and Dexter, where the titles almost seem to represent a character in itself: the setting for all the stories. With it’s pop-up book like models it’s a great way to get geared up for an episode. Also – who doesn’t sing along to the music in the beginning?

The Opening Scene with the Wight:
Considering these first 5-10 minutes is our very first introduction to the entire series, it works almost like a short film. Incredible atmosphere, scenery, a small power dynamic happening within the three men, and the scariest goddamn monster – demon child with blue eyes! Hellspawn! Devil brood! Gripping, gets your heart right in your throat and just awesome.

Anything with Tyrion:
Does this have to be explained? Tryion ranks as probably the highest fan favourite character in the entire series for his wit, his scheming, lacerating tongue and refusal to ever step down and act the inferior person as everyone else treats him. He is the master at slapping a man down with just words. So he could easily fill up a list of top ten Tyrion moments, but that’s not what we’re here for today.


My favourite Game of Throne Moments (Season 1)

 …in no particular order!

Grand Maester Pycelle

The great thing about watching Season One, especially as someone who had never read the books and was coming to this all new, was that every episode had a moment in it, usually at the end, that made you scream “HOLY FUCK WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?” And I think after this moment with Pycelle, completely without dialogue, I was slack-jawed and internally screaming “You magnificent bastard! You absolutely magnificent bastard!”


The Beard is strong in this one.

Because all throughout the series you have a horde of characters whose motivations you don’t know, whose schemes and actions you’re trying to puzzle out, and then when you think you have at least some of the back-stabbing machinations figured out – the show drops another bombshell on you. WITHOUT a single word uttered and in just a minute.

Pycelle, the bumbling, dementia-addled major domo of the King’s court kind of falls under the radar in the previous episodes. You regard him with a little suspicion, because you learn to regard everything as suspect, but this silent moment with him as he bids Roz the exposition whore good day and then proceeds to go through a small series of exercises and stretches – you realize his doddering old fool has been an act right from the beginning.


Everyday Pilates with your favourite Maester

And they drop this shit on you in the last episode of the season,


Amongst other things…

immediately leaving more questions than answers. Who is this old fuck? What pies has his fingers been in? (apart from the redhead) How much of this has he been a part of or knew about? OH MY GOD MY BRAIN IS MELTING.

The Dosh Khaleen ceremony (Dany eats a heart)

Ahh, Daenerys Targaryean….moon-calf, wide-eyed, frightened little sparrow with enough vowels in her name to steal the grand prize at Wheel of Fortune. Naw, I’m kidding – Daenerys is awesome and this scene cements her development and acceptance of being a queen.

This scared, wan, waif of a girl has to make the transition to becoming a fearsome, strong leader and the Dosh khaleen ceremony is where we see the culture and people she’s grown to love rather than fear, love her back.

It’s a beautiful image too…in a grotesque, abattoir-ish way, with Dany’s pale skin and silver hair starkly set up against the dark, red-brown blood smearing her face. The sound design is also great for this too, the squelching as she bites into this massive fucking blood pudding makes your toes curl. It makes one feel aroused…and confused…(*cough*)


I laugh at your pathetic KFC DoubleDown challenge

Most profound of all is, of course, the fierce pride on Drogo’s face as he watches intently. You see a very powerful connection still building between the two amidst this odd savagery, and I think everyone’s heart skips a beat (Ha! Pun!) when Dany retches and almost loses it on the floor.


Bitch, keep it in.

And in a weird way you’re routing for this tiny girl to keep it in, hold it down, and swallow! YEAH! (uh…again, going into weird territory). But she completes the ceremony, Drogo sweeps her up and shows her off with pride, and it’s kind of touching to see the rest of the khalasar assembled accept her and take her in as their own – because just as much as she had to learn to get over her preconceived notions of this seemingly barbaric clan, they also had to learn to get over their xenophobia and meet her halfway.

King Robert and Circe’s chat

If there were a dictionary definition for a poisonous marriage it would be accompanied with a picture of these two (or a Kardashian…or whatever, you pick your own topical gag de jour). Robert and Circe seem to follow that age old trend of hate-filled couples that remain breathing after all these years for the sole reason of sheer spite.

And this quiet moment here is in an odd way, one of the most touching exchanges between them as you see two battle-hardened veterans of pissing in the other’s cup put down their acid-filled invectives for a moment to just talk. Candidly and honestly. And a lot of hard truths are revealed about both characters: in an odd way, they respect each other, despite also being consumed with loathing for the other.


Be prepared for an imperial fisting.

I think it’s especially with this scene that you get a fairer measure of Robert than the drunk, whoring buffoon he normally is – that in a way that’s a front. You get a glimmer of the man Ned Stark saw as a brother; wise, intelligent and with his own brand of cleverness that won him the iron throne in the first place. But he’s also a bag of damaged goods, so lost in his own personal traumas that he’s hated the crown he’s won and wasted away in years of self-indulgence and self-pity.

Circe is also portrayed with a moment of vulnerability, which is probably when she’s the most interesting (though being crazier than a shit house rat is probably why we love to watch her),


That and the height of Westerosi fashion

where you also get the impression that if Robert had ever loved her or had been kind to her in their marriage, she would have turned out to be a very different woman: putting her strength, her determination and fierce loyalty to her husband. Unfortunately, his alienating behaviour put him firmly in the “not my family” camp and she becomes the bitter woman we see today. Both, inevitably, having created this horrible situation.

Which, as they said, has kept the Seven Kingdoms united for seventeen years.



Arya and Syrio / “Not Today”

One of my friends is the sort that you hide in a closet and pretend doesn’t exist when other geeks come knocking around for a game of 40K or Magic: a fantasy-hater. Hated Lord of the Rings (*sigh*), and I thought all hope was lost until she watched Game of Thrones. Her rallying cry being “I don’t care who else dies, but save the Imp and the Little Girl.”



Arya is probably the best loved of the Stark sisters (because she isn’t a self-obsessed, whiny little prat who only starts to see some character development after season one) – spunky, brave, wanting to make her own way, and Ned’s one concession to her wild behaviour is with Syrio Forel, her “dancing master”.


Seven Hells of Beatdown through Interpretive Dance

Now, I have to admit, when Syrio first appeared on screen I was scratching my head and thinking, “What the hell is up with this?” Foppish curly hair, campy Spanish accent, pouffy sleeves – you’ve got to be kidding me. And then the guy moves.

And you realize if you had ever picked a bar fight with someone thinking you could win just off the fact that their silly accent probably resulted in a limp wrist – you would have seven sorts of Spanish leather boot prints on your ass and face. This guy is GOOD. You can tell that the actor (who is a renowned Shakespearean – I’m sorry theatre gods for misjudging one of your own) has been fencing for a long time and he knows what the shit he’s doing.

So the fun back and forth between Syrio and Arya makes for some of the best scenes in King’s Landing. They have a lot of great moments and lines together (“Dead…dead…very dead”), but the one everyone remembers is when the Golden Cloaks come to take Arya away and Syrio prances around them and beats them with a wooden sword like a mad british nanny enforcing a sense of discipline. Guy’s taking on four armoured men with greatswords with a fucking stick.


“What do they put in the water in Braavos?”

But the clincher, the gut-wrencher of the scene of course comes from one of the best lines the TV show placed into canon that you don’t find in the books – “What do we say to the God of Death?” / “Not today.”

The television series has proved well capable of tackling the unwieldy 1000+ page books because they know where to cut, but best of all they know when to add in their own flavour and create memorable moments and lines all on their own.

Khal Drogo’s big speech

First things first – go youtube “maori haka” and then get back to me. Maori tongue dance also suffices. You see that? That is the manliest dance in human history that is a chest-slapping, foot-stomping fuck you of “I will eat you and turn you into my own shit”.


And Jason Momoa did that for his audition as Drogo. He could have also done Vode An (if you get that reference, I salute you).

The scene where Drogo gives his big rousing, slap your manly chest, speech is a perfect culmination of all this. Go ahead, turn the subtitles off – it just makes the scene more badass when you have no idea what this barbarian is saying except that you’re sure it involves a sore rectum, decapitated heads and your brain matter splattered against a wall from the verbal beatdown you couldn’t even understand.

Which brings me to my next point, an aspect of the Dothraki scenes in the show I think is taken for granted – the language. Actually listen to these guys: it sounds real. For the most part every time you hear Dothraki spoken it doesn’t sound like an actor just reciting lines (unlike movie Elvish – sorry Peter), it almost sounds like a weird patois of Farsi and some archaic middle eastern tongue. Doubly so impressive that you can have more than one actor who can deliver these lines with inflection and tone that seems right and real (some actors even struggle with that in English….*coughKeanucough*).

This is another scene that also paints the Dothraki as a shade beyond the barbaric: Khal Drogo has a plan in mind for his khalasar that no other Khal has done before. He has goals and ambitions for them that will take them beyond just being horse lords of a patch of grass – he wants more for his people and he’s got the massive swinging balls to pull it off (weeeeell, until….you know).

And is it just me or while he’s talking about burning villages and enslaving children and raping women, doesn’t Daenerys seem more turned on than ever?




“Do me.”


Jorah Mormont: forever in the friend zone.


Now I’m going to blast the opening theme and get ready for Season 3. DUH NUH NUH NAH DUH NUH NUH NAH!

InspiraTO and Twitter

So I realize I haven’t written anything in a while – blerrrrgh. At least the reason has been that I’ve been busy writing, and it’s one of those things where I have too many projects on the go at once and none get enough special one on one time. Ah well, too much is still better than too little!

I am part of the InspiraTO 10 min. play festival. You can check that out here:

It’s their eighth year and it should prove to be quite exciting! I love short formats be it short films, short stories or plays. I think the short is the best arena for big ideas, much like Sci Fi is the best genre for thought experiments. Anything that forces you to be creative within certain restrictions I’ve always found the funnest challenge. Anyway, my play is called “Id Id Ood” about a man who separates himself from his Id and the two personalities war with each other. (there’s even a short excerpt on the website)

Also I have joined the dark side and am now on Twitter. You can see my feed on the sidebar of this blog and it is already starting to fill with some immature crap. Enjoy!